My Afflation

We all know that kids are expensive and getting more and more so the more we let go of “simple pleasures” and try to “keep up with the Joneses. Not to mention inflation! I came across this inspiring piece:   " What do you get for your $160,140.00? (not including college) * Naming rights . First, middle, and last! * Glimpses of God every day. * Giggles under the covers every night. * More love than your heart can hold. * Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs. * Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies. * A hand to hold usually covered with jelly or chocolate. * A partner for blowing bubbles and flying kites. * Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.. For $160,140.00, you never have to grow up. You get to: * finger-paint, * carve pumpkins, * play hide-and-seek, * catch lightning bugs, * never stop believing in Santa Claus. You have an excuse to: * keep reading the Adventures of Pooh and Piglet, * watch...

While having a conversation with a friend about the possibilities of kids (and comparing them to animals), I managed to come up with this quip: Cats are like teenagers. They only pay attention to you when they want something :)

This is pretty funny! Don't speak toddler? Here's what they're saying: "Oh please, you can't expect her to know how to run a country just because her husband did." "Excuse me? In addition to being former first lady, she had performed admirably as New York senator." "That's debatable." "So is Obama's experience level. Not to mention the question of his patriotism." "Oh don't bring up this Reverend Wright crap again. If every politician were held responsible for the words of his associates..." "Or her associates..." "They wouldn't..." "This was not an associate. This was his pastor!" "Right! This was his pastor! Not him! Not his words! You want to talk about personal accountability? How about all the 'misremembered' stories Shrill is spreading around the campaign trail?" "Oh, and you have a perfect memory?" "I'm not running for President!...

Davik's Heart http://lang.presstelegram.com/flash/cambodia/images/title.jpg

I COULD SCREAM!!!!!! I gave birth to a bunch of heatherns I tell ya. I can make 10 kids of various ages behave and get along, but I can't get my two to NOT FIGHT for the time I am in the shower. I swear he waited till I was in the shower. Joy was still sleeping peacefully (yah in my room). Two nights ago, when Josh wasn't here and she was just being more than I could handle intelligently ... she spilled water in her bed. I told her to sleep on her floor or in Josh's room since he wasn't here. She chose Josh's room (she wanted to sleep in a bed). I got her up and dressed the next morning and totally forgot about her jammies and (wet) pullup that I left in his room. So this morning, after not sleeping in his bed for like the 2nd week he decides that he wants to sleep in his bed. And freaks out cuz her blankie, jammies, and said pullup are there. So what does he do? What does he do???? Wakes her up, Calls her names, orders her to get her stuff out of his room. I only k...

I was looking for the forward about women needing wives ... because I really needed one tonight. Came across this instead Why I Need a Wife (Jane Schlosser) In a perfect world, every woman would have a wife . Unfortunately, there is no such world, but I still need a wife. I have asked for a wife for years. Every time my family says, “What do you want for your birthday: Mother’s Day, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, or Easter.” I smile and respond, “A wife.” They smile sweetly and respond, “No, really, Mom. What do you want?” I do not understand why they will not believe me. I am very serious. “I want a wife!” I want someone who will sort, wash, fold and put away the laundry, so I can pretend these things magically appear in their proper place on a weekly basis. If she could mend and iron, that would be even better. One Christmas, I included my own letter to Santa along with the children’s letters. It was not a long letter, only one request, but he did not answer. I am not sure if Sant...

Get home just after 5 to see Josh and friend playing video games. Josh asks "Mom, why are you home so soon?" I tell him it's just after 5. He thinks it's not that late. Joy wants to ride her bike and have Zoe with her. This doesn't quite work out. I go through mail and call a friend to thank him for a gift . It made it here in record time. I walk Zoe while talking with friend and watching Joy ride bike. About 6 (while still talking to friend, it's been quite a few months since we've talked) I go into house and start prepping the dishes. SAVE ME FROM 13-YR-OLD INNUENDO!!!!!! I finally kick all the kids out (Josh's friend Nick arrives for a sleep over. Josh got me when I was only half-way paying attention and asked for a sleepover. What was I thinking???? I work tomorrow!). OK, so where was I? 6:15-8:00PM dishes 6:30-7:15 - kick all kids and dogs out and tell them to come back at 7:15, dinner should be ready. sometime between 6:45 and 7:00 - phone dies...

I am actually tired of vacuuming. And I like vacuuming, usually. And I am about to beat my daughter. I wonder how my parents convinced me to clean my room? I wonder if I was ever as openly defiant as my daughter? The few times I remember even attempting her current attitude and behavior I had to go cut my own peach switch. And that was all it took. My mom always said I was a fast-learner. Tags: cleaning , kids , discipline