My Afflation

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall. They weren't able to name that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was use to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping ..... SEND THIS MAIL TO AN INTELLIGENT WOMAN, SO THAT SHE HAS SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT TODAY -- Annette Sargent "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -Robert A. Heinlein

For those of you have been on the net for a while, you may remember getting the Darwin Award emails on a regular basis. I had no idea that they were still around. So ... for your viewing pleasure ....

A little humor for you this morning ---------- Forwarded message ---------- _______________________________________ Excerpts from a Dog's Diary: 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted ! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard, My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to eat popcorn! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! Excerpts from a Cat's Diary Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in orde...

There were two nuns... One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), And the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for The past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes At the most! What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster............... SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only Logical thing. He started to walk faster, too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So the man decided...

It's a forward, I didn't check the veracity of it, but I do know that minimum wage used to be a living wage ... only 30 years ago. ---------- Forwarded message ---------- How to Subdue a Nation Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table At which he's fed. Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes Are the rule. Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants, Tax his coat. Tax his ties, Tax his shirt, Tax his work, Tax his dirt. Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if he Tries to think. Tax his cigars, Tax his beers, If he cries, then Tax his tears. Tax his car, Tax his gas, Find other ways To tax his ass Tax all he has Then let him know That you won't be done Till he has no dough. When he screams and hollers, Then tax him some more, Tax him till He's good and sore. Then tax his coffin, Tax his grave, Tax the sod in Which he's laid. Put these words upon his tomb, "Taxes drove me to my doom..." When he's gone, Do not relax, Its time to apply The inhe...

Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. They're touching words from the mouth of babes . . . A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think: "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8 "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4 "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5 "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6 "...

Installing Love   Technical Support:   Yes, ... How can I help you? Customer:     Well , after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process? Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed? Customer:         Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first? Tech Support:   The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart? Customer:         Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running? Tech Support: What programs are running ? Customer:         Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now. Tech Support:   No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may re...

Today is International Disturbed People's Day Please send an encouraging message to a disturbed friend... just as I've done. I don't care if you lick windows, take the special bus or occasionally pee Yourself... You hang in there sunshine, you're frigging special to me.

I got this in email. Guess what I did ============================= This just proves that we have become too dependent on our computers. Are you male or female?   To find out the answer, look down...   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Look down , not scroll down !