My Afflation

No, this post is not about a new recipe nor a new dance. The burn! It hurts! My shoulders are on FYRE! I really need to book myself a hot stone massage.

I just don't have the energy to be a perfectionist all the damn time anymore. From a conversation with a friend: I'm going to treat this like Whole30. I'm a failure (according to their standards), but that's ok, this is what a work in progress looks like ... Scratch that, I am not a failure, I am not a perfectionist. I've been slacking. Not quite the procrastination bug, but something like that. More like the "I don't know where to get started" bug. I jumped on the Passion Planner bandwagon , got my Staples Arc folder (and now I found another one that's more perfect), and printed out the first month. Here we are in week three, and I am still looking at other's planners at least once a week and going to the tips section of the Passion Planner website to see why I am having so much trouble "getting it." I mean, pens, washi tape, post-its, color coding, the list goes on and on. Where is a practical, no-nonsense, non-artistic person...

I went to the gym at 8am today. Crazy right? But you know what? It was practically empty!!!! Anxious Introvert heaven! Locker room - empty. Floor - like three people. Cardio machines? Only two in use! I had my pick! The elliptical seemed like a good choice again. 45 minutes on an interval program and I did the majority of this week's video lectures for a Coursera course. I was feeling productive even though I hadn't had any coffee yet. Trying out this thing called "Time Management." via GIPHY Not too bad if I do say so myself, considering how I feel about cardio. I guess I was more relaxed today. Max HR only hit 154 according to the machine Fitbit has different stats I felt good as I got off the elliptical and then I had a brilliant epiphany. I had enough time to try the sauna! My trainer has been encouraging me to use it ever since the weather turned but I never make time for it. That is going to change STAT! I'm going to have to get over...

OMFG I don't know if I'm really unfit or if I had a minor anxiety attack, but I could not get beyond the warm-up of Ropes and Rowers . I was dizzy and felt a fainting spell come on. I hate fainting in public. Left the class to get some breathing room and water and never went back in. Sat for a while and my heart wouldn't stop racing ... Right. Ok. No sense in wasting this trip to the gym. So I went downstairs where it was warmer and quieter and I knew no one would be looking and judging. via GIPHY via GIPHY Since I had signed up for a class I didn't bring my headphones. From now on, I will always bring headphones. But it was kinda nice to just zone out on the elliptical for another 30 minutes. Listening to the hum of treadmills and just letting my brain wander while my body did its thing. I feel more relaxed than I have in a while (though while I wait for my ride to finish his workout I'm starting to freeze and seize up) and I got a few more ideas for this blo...

Start small and stay consistent I'm in the process of getting myself set up for a butt-kicking 2018. I found the Passion Planner , signed up for the free template download, and decided I'm going to try it out for the month of January and see if I can make that a habit. I'll be combining it with the Staples Arc system because I have a few personal project ideas floating around that don't quite fit into the Passion Planner setup. Journaling with pen and paper is something I've been trying to get back to since last year when I started The Artist's Way (or maybe the beginning of this year? It's been a long year). I also increased my Moleskine and other journals collection exponentially, so I had better start using them. So many ideas, so little time, and even less focus.

Now that I have my PMP , I seem to have lost mine -- my motivation and purpose that is. I find myself suddenly exhausted, tired, unmotivated, and unsure of what to do with myself next. "Disney Motivational Poster 3" by slyboyseth   The first few days after I passed the test, I was still in shock. I went to work on Friday, we celebrated again that night, plus Star Wars: The Last Jedi: Still waiting in line for theater 2 10:30pm showing of #LastJedi what gives @AMCTheatres BOS Lowe's location. Movie is supposed to start in 7 minutes. And no downstairs concessions!!! — Annette (@daNanner) December 16, 2017 Saturday was a whirlwind of getting Joy off to the airport (that was a minor misadventure), and I think I finally started collapsing on Sunday. I didn't want to do anything or go anywhere, especially since I had gym at 6am on Monday morning. I don't have to study, the house is clean enough, dinner has been made and eaten ... and I have gym at 6am....