My Afflation

Paul returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife Alma that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live. Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him. Of course she agreed and they made passionate love. Six hours later, Paul went to her again, and said: "Honey, now I only have 18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?" Alma agrees and again they make love. Later, Paul is getting into bed when he realized he now had only eight hours of life left. He touched Alma 's shoulder and said: "Honey? Please? Just one more time before I die." She agreed, than afterward she rolled over and fell asleep. Paul, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and turned until he was down to only four more hours. He tapped his wife on the shoulder to wake her up. "Honey, I only have four hours left! Could we....?" His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said: "Listen Paul, ...

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!!" His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the heck is this??" he said to himself as a little "dust" cloud appeared when he shook them out. "April," he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?" She replied with a snicker... "It's not talcum powder....... It's 'Miracle Grow'." -- Annette Sargent "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -R...

Fireman Sex A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets,BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go."From now on when I say BELL 1 I want you to strip naked. When I say BELL 2 I want you to jump in bed. And when I say BELL 3 we are going to make love all night. The next night he came home from work and yelled "BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off. When he yelled "BELL 2!" the wife jumped into bed. When he yelled "BELL 3!" they began making love. After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!" "What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband? "ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE." 75th Wedding Anniversary A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tra...

What comes after two days of rain in Oregon? Monday

Having a new pet has released my husband's sense of humor The Origin of Pets Where do pets come from? It is reported that the following edition of the Book of Genesis was discovered in the Dead Seal Scrolls. If authentic, it would shed light on the question, "Where do pets come from?" And Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me." And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companionwill accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself." And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pl...