My Afflation

the last few days have been tumultuous, confusing, lonely, and a myriad of other feelings that have ultimately left me emotionally and physically drained. Last night I received some respite as well as affirmation and assurance that I am not the nutcase I often feel like. the lonliness is the worst. not knowing which friends to trust, or who even have time to listen to my misgivings and self-doubts, no one to talk to completely open and honestly. At least I am FINALLY aware of the type of decisions I make when I'm lonely, stressed out, and down on myself. Not acting on those impulses is getting harder and harder. and there's no one to lean on when I'm at wit's end. my spirit needs rest and restoration. my self-esteem is shot, and i feel like i have nothing left to give. where do i go from here?

Today at work I declared it "Stupid Man Week" and passed out kisses to those of us who needed it. All of the women around me (except the one that is now engaged) have been having stupid men problems. One guy had everyone in one friend's family thinking he was about to propose, instead he dumps her and finds someone else to sleep with the same night. This friend is taking her hurt and anger out on everyone else. Not good, but we're working on it. Another lied to his wife (lie by omission) and then wonders why she got mad because his omission screwed up their monthly budget and put a huge strain on relations with extended family, and he fights dirty. And I won't go into mine. He wasn't stupid or hurtful this week, but I am still recovering from a blow a few weeks ago. And then there is the smart husband :) He used to be stupid when it came to treating his wife as a treasure, but she fills him in on our problems and in the last two weeks he's been a doll. A...